Connection Before Content
When I think about all the workshops, seminars even meetings or one on one sessions that I have run that haven’t gone so well, it is always the ones where I didn’t focus enough energy on creating connection first.
Sometimes I can get so caught up in delivering the content or getting through the agenda that this vital step can be missed. The net result is that the content doesn’t land as well as I had intended and participants are left feeling flat or disengaged.
The Pareto Principle is a concept usually aligned in the financial realms but it is often described as the 80/20 rule. To mitigate the situation described above I have made a conscious effort to apply this principle when designing people-orientated processes such as workshops or even meetings. The Pareto Principle I interpret 80% of our result comes from 20% of our efforts. Therefore in this context, when planning a session I consciously allocate 20% time and effort on connection first before diving into the content.
Humans are social beings and thrive on interactions with other humans, despite at times resistance, shyness and a natural propensity for introversion. Therefore in my planning of anything from a meeting to a workshop or retreat I try to bring in the elements of story and play.
In my experience, story and play are two of the most powerful ways to build connection and get people into an open enough state to take on the content of whatever they have gathered together to cover. I have seen this work time and time again from working with teenagers through to eighty-year-old adults.
So what do I mean by story and play?
When we share our story we have an opportunity to express how we think, feel and experience the world. By doing so we are able to provide another perspective or view for those that are hearing our story. When this happens we begin to see the similarities and the differences between us. Sharing our story can be as simple as sharing some fun facts or answering some light questions like “what is your favourite food?” Or “Describe your perfect day?” Through to some more deeper and vulnerable topics such as “What are you challenged by right now?” Or “Tell me about a time in your life when you made a mistake”.
Play simply means having a bit of fun or having a laugh. I have found that resistance and tension can oftentimes be released through a good laugh. I introduce the element of play by telling a funny story or running some icebreakers or games. It is amazing to witness the impact that laughter and joy can have on the way a session will run, the simple release of endorphins appears to create a sense of “oh now I can relax”. One important point to mention though is for some people icebreakers and games can have the opposite effect due to many reasons but particularly bad experiences in the past so “reading the room” is definitely important when introducing this element.
Story and play are a couple of powerful tools that I believe can transform the way we interact particularly in group situations. Next time you are attending a workshop or seminar or even a business meeting notice what happens if these elements are present or not. What would be different for you if the opposite were true?
Creating connection before delivering content can be as simple as asking people “how are you?” Starting off light and being genuinely interested in what they are feeling and have been experiencing lately. It doesn’t have to be complicated and you definitely don’t have to start running games at your weekly meeting.
However, when you are planning your next meeting, workshop or coaching session think about how can you apply the 80/20 rule by focusing on connection first.