Stories Connect Us

Stories have a way of communicating experience, wisdom, and lessons, but they also have a way of helping us understand what it is to be human. 

They provide context for our experience. 

When we hear other people's stories or tales from the past, it gives us a lens through which to look at the world.  A way to truly understand our personal world and where we fit within the context of the greater world. 

So stories allow us to look at things differently.  In this technological age, stories can often be viewed as just something that can be flicked up or down, swiped left or right, so fleetingly.  These aren’t the stories we are talking about here.  

There are many different types of stories and each has its purpose. The stories I am referring to are the ones we share with others.  Our inner thoughts or lens of experience, and how we view the world from our unique context. Sharing our story requires courage because it can be quite vulnerable.  As humans, we often fear judgement and seek to fit in so we often hold our thoughts and feeling close as a result.

However, when we do share our story we offer a gift to those that are willing to hear it. For when we hear someone else's story and how they see themselves, it gives us the ability to connect with them on a different level and see things from a different perspective.  This in turn enables us to make sense of our thoughts and feelings and perhaps offer an alternative way of viewing things. 

Sharing our story also creates permission for others to share theirs.  It breaks the ice so to speak and allows others to feel more comfortable in sharing their inner thought process if someone else shares theirs first.  Safety and trust are developed when we dip our toes into the uncomfortable waters of vulnerability and embark on a journey of discovery together.

Oftentimes our inner stories are the same or similar between individuals.  So when we hear someone else’s experience and it is similar to ours we feel connected. I've seen many times, through the work that I do with individuals, groups and teams people connecting and understanding each other on a deeper level simply by sharing their stories. 

Just the other day in a workshop, after sitting in circle, and sharing their stories, participants reflected on their experience. One reflection was “I don't feel so alone anymore. Someone else gets it. Someone else has had that thing happen to them as well.”  Another reflection was “we’ve all got stuff going on, I feel like I can understand and empathise with where people are at more now.”

A quote that I love that illustrates this beautifully from Margret J. Wheatley is “You can’t hate someone whose story you know.” 

To further our relationship with ourselves and others we need to practice flexing our emotional muscles so we can stretch and grow.  Sharing our stories is one way in which we can do this as humans.

Of course, someone always has to go first, by demonstrating courage and stepping outside their comfort zone enables others to do the same.  Who's someone in your life you would like to understand more about their story?  Do you have the courage to share your story first to create permission for them to share theirs?