Leading with HEART
“People can’t be what they can’t see” - This piece of advice from a mentor has been one of those pearls that has stayed with me over the years. Throughout the leadership roles I have had, many styles and influences have guided how I approach leadership but at its core has been the idea of role modelling what we would like to see in others.
When I think about the leaders or managers I have admired the most, it is the ones who walk the walk and talk the talk. However, it is also those leaders that I have been challenged by, who have role-modelled actions and behaviours that I don’t wish to emulate that I have learnt a great deal from. It therefore will come as no surprise that my top value is integrity.
When we are leading other humans we don’t get a choice, we are role models like it or not. Therefore it is important to think about our words, actions and behaviours and ensure they are in line firstly with our values but also with what we wish to see from those that we lead.
So here are some qualities that I believe make a leader one that I wish to follow:
Humility - If we are to truly be in service to others with the intention of helping them to reach their full potential it is not about us having all the answers or needing recognition. If we practice humility we create permission and space for others to feel safe to extend themselves, and challenge themselves they will ultimately learn and grow and contribute more fully to the team’s mission and purpose.
Empathy - Seeking to understand what others think and feel requires curiosity and patience. By being able to demonstrate that we understand another’s point of view or experience we enable them to be seen and heard and feel valued. In addition, by empathising we also open ourselves up to new perspectives which helps us learn and grow.
Authenticity - Being real and true to who we are is critical to enabling others to do the same. When we admit our mistakes or that we “actually don’t know” the answer we create an environment where others are able to do the same. As a leader, there are times when things are tough and we aren’t having a great day. Better to let people know about it rather than acting out in negative ways. In my experience, people feel more connected and supportive when I am honest about how I’m feeling.
Robust Compassion - A Buddhist teacher introduced me to this concept some time ago. Sometimes we can misconstrue compassion as needing to be soft and peaceful when there are definitely times when kindness and understanding need to be exercised more strongly and steeped in reality. Being clear on boundaries, the relative consequences and the impact of not adhering to them is a trait that leaders require to keep things moving in the right direction.
Team Player - The times I have stepped in and become “part” of the circle rather than being “outside” the circle when leading teams have been some of the most productive and impactful leadership decisions I have made. Human innovation thrives with collaboration and being part of the team leads to greater synergy and better outcomes in my experience.
Perhaps these traits resonate with your own leadership style or with leaders that you admire and look up to. Alternatively, you may have a different set of qualities that are more important to you.
The key point is no matter what leadership style you have, you can’t expect others to be what they can’t see.
So consider how you are showing up, are you leading by example or are you asking others to do as you say rather than what you do?